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"My obsessing over all this seems to have my anxiety in over drive"
Right there, that is where the problem seems to be. Please talk to a therapist about this before you obsessing destroys that which you are obsessing over.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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