I agree with sidestepper.

However, I'll keep talking (I ramble). I'm the one from page 1 that cheated. 6 months ago I was not in love with my husband at all, I considered leaving him for another man, I considered leaving my kids behind too. I was in a bad place obviously. However, our marriage is unbelievably strong. He is putting forth every ounce of effort (a year ago he wasn't the one to show verbal or physical affection either, not an excuse for me to cheat, but he wasn't perfect either) and so am I. I never knew we could feel this in love.

Did we stay together because of our kids? Yup, we sure did. The thought of breaking up their family killed us both so at multiple different points, that's why we each stayed. Does it mean that's why we're together now? Not at all. We love each other with every ounce of us and he is trying his hardest to get past my lies and betrayal. He's going to be hurt for a long time, but our love is at a complete peak - probably the highest it's been in the 9+ years we've been together!

Work on YOU right now. The rest will fall into place but if you focus on your obsession that she's going to leave or is lying or whatever, it will just keep you from making yourself better. She wants you better - give this your all and see what happens. You can't predict the future but if you try your hardest each day, it can't hurt things, can it?

I also think marriage counseling would be helpful so she knows what are some realistic expectations to have.

Have you two read the 5 Love Languages? I think it would help you immensely and it's a fast, easy read. You can even just google it and each take the online test to see what are your languages (my guess is hers are words of affection/physical touch/acts of service) and perhaps that's not what your strongest language is. There is plenty of room to grow your marriage - seize the opportunity!