Granite, it seems you have alot of suppressed anger, and nowhere to vent, like a pressure cooker, im going through it as well, I always have, except this t is making me acknowledge it in her own ways.

My reminds me of how angry I am because of my past, and wants me to acknowledge it, but I dont. But inside I do I get angry at her, I get sarcastic at her, and she calls me out, and tells me she wants more expression of anger in session, , even if im projecting it, because then we will work through it.

Is your t doing this? What is she doing that is making you feel this way? I wish you wouldnt call yourself a loser cause your not. Tell her how angry you feel, tell her your angry at her, let her figure it out, let her find you.