Hi PC folks. Just as the title says really - is there a foolproof way of differentiating between withdrawing/dissociating, and healthy letting go?

How can we tell the difference?

I feel very complicated and cannot untangle it. I feel sort of, good inside myself emotionally - which is lovely! and very welcome - but numb on the outside. Like nothing people say or do, good or bad, can sink into me. Which is how I was before except I was unhappy inside, and now I feel far better about who I am in my own opinion of myself.

It's like therapy opened me up and did some sharp cutting and tearing and rearranging but now everything is stitched back up, and my therapist (or anyone else) can't poke into the open wounds and see and influence the most desperate and vulnerable bits of me anymore. They've scabbed over.

Does this sound healthy, like I'm just more invested in my own sense of self worth and not letting outside factors dictate my self worth?

Or does it sound like numbing out and withdrawing from connections with others?



I'm veering towards thinking it's healthy because I feel strong and optimistic and just so much better! But then I think maybe it isn't because the thought of how emotionally intimate I was with my therapist now feels extremely uncomfortable, and I don't know if I ever want to face her again. I feel quite sad if I pause to think of her/ not seeing her again ever, but find it very easy to not think of it and go back to feeling pretty cheerful in general. I don't know if I'm avoiding looking at any pain there or if I'm just actually being a normal human being and reacting to loss by feeling sad by not wallowing in it.

Arghhh! I am confuddled.