Hello, you should feel very lucky. I was undiagnosed when I took Zoloft and sent me into my first mania. I didn't even know what bipolar or mania was! I was never abusive, great father and by all accounts a good husband. I almost had a affair but thought of my kids and marriage and stopped myself. I didn't go looking for it she came after me. It wasn't even a emotional affair, just a chase and lust thing, she was interested none the less. The reason I say you are lucky is this, after 1 episode where I went off the chart I was dumped after 15 years.
The manic scared her, and I was pretty blunt with her and angry.
There is more to the story but not as bad as most the stories I hear.
I never got the chance to explain the zoloft reaction that made me not myself. She never knew about the almost affair that never happened.
But I got dumped after first episode while I was in the hospital!
So you are very lucky to have 1 or 2 or 3 chances at forgiveness.
Yes some people are very forgiving but there are limits. Let her give you one more chance and trust her, you have nothing to lose and yet a lot to lose also. So stay away from the alcohol and take your meds.
Make a promise to yourself and forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself may be the key here. Thank your lucky stars..really!