We have a different view of what goes on in AA. It is not about blame in there. My very hard efforts that I under my own will and choosing did were very much celebrated by the members and by me. It takes a lot of very difficult work and I don't think anyone believes it is some higher power moving your pencil across the paper. That effort is celebrated. We probably disagree on the higher power thing. I believe there is a power in the universe that we can tap into and draw strength from. That power lies in me at my core but is bigger than me, and it also lies in everyone and is everywhere. There is huge power in a bunch of people working toward the same goal. Even though it required huge effort on my part individually it was a group effort, and some power that exists that I don't understand. I couldn't do it alone is my main point. I am not religious. Many in AA are not. Many prefer Buddhist philosophy or native american belief....and all kinds.

I totally agree we have to get past how the donkey got in the ditch and the blame game. That is what the steps are designed to do. And we are supposed to get out of ourselves and share our success and celebrate it. I totally agree. I try very hard to stay out of the blame game but I often feel like a victim of depression. It is not going to stop me from looking rationally non judgmentally at reasons for things being how they are. That is just how I am.

I am out of the ditch with my addictions and I am truly grateful. I really don't think about it much. Depression is a whole other story. I have suffered from very severe depression my whole life and have thrown the whole book at it as far as treatment. I have worked very hard yet I still get very long term deep suicidal depression. I don't think I can agree with some of your statements on depression. The causes are very complex and varied. I have worked much harder on treating my depression than I did on sobriety and haven't got near the results. I am not sure I want to have that debate here. I argue enough about it in the psyche meds and depression section.