my boyfriend hit me last night. We went to a bar had some pitchers.. (We have been living together for awhile) Long story short I wanted to go to the strip club (basically because other people we were chatting with left to go there) I asked the bartender after the bar was closing if she wanted to join us, but the strip club was closing soon, and we had no more money on us. I talked to a few people, one guy started being a little flirty with me, and my boyfriend got mad. I didn't flirt back or anything, I basically told him to screw off. On the walk back home from the bar. My boyfriend brought up having a threesome with the bartender. he tried to convince me to go back, and get her. it made me feel really upset, hurt, and jealous. he had told me before in past that he didn't want to be with anybody else, man or female, and it would make him feel awkward. and i had told him recently i felt the same way, and I felt like it would cause problems between us, and I wasn't comfortable with it. So when he randomly brought it up, and seemed okay with it as soon as he seen this blonde younger bartender it really hurt me. I'm still hurt.

He's trying to say it was because he thought I would be in to it, and I seemed bored with our sex life. When i had told before I simply needed him to be more passionate, and have more foreplay. I don't understand this at all, and I'm really confused right now, and don't know how to feel besides hurt, and betrayed. I feel like I'm not good enough, and now he's just trying to back peddle so he doesn't hurt my feelings anymore. He became extremely aggressive when we started fighting when we got back to the apartment, and tried to tell me he was mad at me because i was flirting with someone else. When I made sure to make it clear to that guy that the attention was unwanted. I feel like he's trying to pin everything on me right now. He told me he would quit drinking, and that he was sorry. But I don't feel any better, or any less hurt. It doesn't make sense. I don't see the logic behind trying to fix a relationship, by inviting someone else in to it sexually.

After I had been unfaithful with another woman in the beginning of the relationship (and he freaked out) the whole 3 some thing has been a common conversation between us. so he knew how i felt about it, it seems like he just saw something better come along, and suddenly changed his mind on the whole 3 some thing. Another thing he had pushed me out of the apartment in my underwear last night (we live on a sketchy street) and put his hands on me after saying he wouldn't do it again. I'm not a saint, and I have messed up, and hit him before in the past, i'm struggling with mental health issues, and have been getting help, and slowly getting better. He has hit me before, and Now i feel like I'm going to be even more insecure, and jealous and threatened by other women. He says he has problems too, but last night was him just being an insensitive jerk. I don't know if i should believe him, I really don't think anything that was done last night was to benefit me or our relationship. I think he's just trying to make himself seem like less of a jerk? I also missed my sexual abuse counseling appointment because afterwards he acted all depressed and emotional saying he doesn't want to live anymore,. and I was scared to leave him here alone. I feel like hes just holding me back. He's saying that he has stayed me when I screwed up in our relationship before, but this just really hurts, and I don't know how to feel about anything.

I'm questioning if he actually brought it up because he thought i was bored of the relationship, or if he just wanted to be with someone else sexually, more so her, and tried to have me cool with it when I was intoxicated.