I am all those things you say. Confident in social environments. Friendly. Easy to talk to. I wouldn't say I look smart and slick, but I have a certain hippie clique about me that people usually see as interesting. Not bad looking either and in pretty good shape. I generally fit in well when I go places. Bars and clubs are a bit awkward to go alone to however. Most people tend to stick to the people they came with in places like that, with those on the outskirts occasionally brushing against each other as they queue at the bar or whatever. Short conversation might ensue, but then people are right back to their friends.

All my experiences going to bars on my own have gone something like this. Buy a drink and sit at the bar. No one approaches me, but I swap a few words with people as they buy a drink. Later on in the night when people are drunk and loose their inhibitions a bit I might end up sat at a table with a bunch of people I don't know and one of them might talk to me. The rest of the night I'm stood about, not really enjoying the experience as people around me affirm their friendships with one another. No one wants to talk to the person they don't know, only the people they do.

I have tried going out and spotting other people who are alone and might welcome the attention, but it's few and far between because people just don't go out on there own much.

It is easy to make friends when you already have friends. It tends to snowball. You go out with friends, meet their friends, meet friends of friends of friends, etc. You start with a connection and people are welcoming and because they don't want to upset existing contacts by ignoring the people they are with. If you are with no one, no one has a reason to talk to you.

What strikes me as odd is that that as soon as people get friends they look down on people trying to get in on the action. It's clan mentality. Take the Rosas of the world. I try to foster a friendship with her and she is annoyed and harassed because I am just an acquaintance; all-be-it an acquaintance she gets along well with and has a positive experience with at every meeting. But all those friends she has already were once just like me, only becoming close friends because either they, or her, made the effort to do so. That kind of thinking is selfish and hypocritical, but it is the way almost all people are. It leaves me stuck unless I can find someone who is actually looking to make friends, which at my age (32) is rare because most people are already established.