I am in my mid-30's. I live with my mom because I have severe agoraphobia and panic disorder (which I have had since my pre-teens) and being on SSI I cannot afford or handle living on my own. I do pay an equal percentage of rent-to-income ratio as my mom and half of all of the bills. I am not freeloading. I cover my costs and then some. My mom is at home much of the time being retired.

But the problem is that my mom never developed boundaries regarding my room since I was a child. When I ask to be left alone to do college homework, she constantly bugs me so I stay distracted and unable to focus. And if I close my door, she walks in without knocking, or will knock two quick knocks then immediately open the door...she does this even if she just "believes" I am not in the bathroom too, even though the fan and/ or lights are on...when it comes to a closed door bathroom, she always somehow thinks I am somewhere else in the house and just walks in.

I have said it for years now, and shhe doesn't listen to me asking her to please knock before she opens a closed door, but if she walks in on me getting dressed as she has numerous times, I am not supposed to get angry or yell at her. She constantly threatens to report me to the state for “elder abuse” for yelling at her and have me removed or put in a group home or threatens to move out if I yell at her...I feel so frustrated by her not listening to me unless I yell at her.

So asking her doesn't stop it. Yelling at her stops it for a few days while she is mad at me over it, but then she threatens me. Locking my door makes her hit my door and yell at me till I unlock it, because somehow I am violating a house rule and am not allowed to lock my own doors (bathroom included) because it is somehow symbolic of something greater than merely wanting my privacy THAT I PAY FOR.

She is my only family. I have no one else. I cannot afford to live on my own, and I feel like she is still treating me like I'm 5. I actually jump when she opens my door she often does it so fast. I now get dressed inside of my tiny closet so if she walks in, she at least won't see me.

I don't know what to do. And I'm not sure there is an answer or way to solve this.

~piggy