I used to love being manic as well. When I was younger it served me well. I excelled at work because of my high productivity and was able to get by when I would crash. Now unfortunately if I go manic I'm really mean and my temper is beyond short. I wish I could turn back the clock and go back to when it made me feel so great. I know how you feel and I get tempted to stop my meds but my wife knows me too well and catches me thank God. Take care and good luck!