It was her personal issues that made her say that. Evidently she did not know how to handle that and really only exhibited incompetence...she made herself look bad. Honestly, yes, it is a shock to many people to meet a feminine lesbian. I have heard way too many times "Why do you want to be gay? You are beautiful and could have any guy you want!" My response is always "I am beautiful so I can't be gay?" Followed by "you're an idiot and you make no sense" (in my head, lol). The rudest comment I've received was "what a perfectly good waste of such beauty". It's incredibly offensive.

The way I interpret the "inappropriate" stance, is that it would be inappropriate and unethical for her to continue seeing you, knowing you are hurting from erotic/romantic transference. Usually it is different when client and T are both heterosexual, but client experiences erotic/romantic transference. That is easier to work through because it most likely cannot be taken at face value, and could be the cause of something deeper.
In my opinion, even if roles were reversed and she was gay, it would be inappropriate for her to continue seeing you if you have erotic transference. I know some T's are amazing and will work through it with the client regardless of gender and orientation issues, but most don't feel ethical doing so....Possibly because they feel the relationship will begin to cause more pain than healing for you? There are many ways to look at this.

I hope all of this is making sense.

But I know, no matter how you look at it, it is still so incredibly painful and confusing. If you feel the need to email her I think you should go for it. Just go into it realizing she may not respond. Maybe to prevent the stress you can even ask her not to respond? Just a suggestion. Whatever you decide, I hope you feel better soon and I am so sorry you are hurting.