I can understand why you are confused!

I'm guessing, like most others have said, that what others say or do should effect you in some way because that's part of being connected to others. But from what you wrote it's hard to know if it does effect you but you aren't letting it 'sink in' and change how you feel about yourself.

Also do you need to know? If it isn't hurting you. Could you simply be open to continually reflecting within yourself and perhaps the answer will be made known to you in time? Sometimes we feel emotions when we're ready, and I don't necessarily think that is a 'bad' thing or an unhealthy defence mechanism.