Quote:
Originally Posted by Notnrml85
I yelled at my dad yesterday for some f-ed up stuff he's done that's really affected me in my life. He told me I needed to grow up and take responsibility for my own actions and feelings. The physical and emotional abuse I suffered from him as a child and teen are just a small fraction of the things that have happened to me by family members who say they love me, then hurt me. He told me yesterday that he didn't even believe i have a mental illness and that it's all bs. Today he texted me and apologized to me for the first time ever and asked that we have a real conversation about me and what's going on with me. I wasn't expecting this and I had just resigned myself to hating him... But now that he wants to know about everything I don't know if I want to be vulnerable and tell him and then have him still tell me I'm lying and making excuses for my behavior. I don't blame my mental illness for my shortcomings. I feel my shortcomings so deeply that they are a part of my core as a person not because of my mental illness. I don't know what I'm going to say to him. I think I'm gonna try to write it all down.
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Notnrml,
I would not make yourself vulnerable with someone who has hurt you in the past and refuses to acknowledge it. In my humble opinion, you are setting yourself up for another disappointment. I am in a similar situation, as my mom was physically and emotionally abusive my entire life. She died 6 years ago, and she never admitted that she did anything or was wrong in any way. (She had BPD- mean!) Not getting that closure with her still hurts me today, but being vulnerable with her always meant getting hurt. She took advantage. She said I was crazy and didn't know what I was talking about. That is what I'm afraid your dad will do. I know we long for closure in these situations, but sometimes it is not possible. Best of luck to you.