TRIGGER

I'm not sure how I'm going to cope. I have a high stress day on Sunday the kind where I have to greet about 100 visitors. I had so much energy this morning I ended up walking about 10k in the crazy wind and I felt like I was about to explode in pleasure over every tree bud and blade of grass. i didn't sleep much I literally felt complete ecstasy now I have a huge headache from downing two cans of cider on an empty stomach. I have so much work to do but I cant focus. Now i feel so uncomfortable in my own skin I want to rip it off. My thoughts are really dark. They gave me some lyrica I think it is and trazadone to sleep. I have taken 2 Ods in the last week and didn't tell anyone. at times I seem to lose complete control over myself with terrible anger. I just want this to go away. feeling desperate.