Ugh, I can't believe myself. I feel so stupid calling him. I haven't done it yet. What if he's really off the whole week? Then I'll feel even stupider. Or if he is there, but he has no available slots on Wed. or Thurs.

It's funny because if this was my chiropractor or something, I'd have no problem calling up and saying, "Hey, I have a couple of days off this week... Can I come in?" I have done that.

But when it comes to T, it's so different. I am not attached to my chiropractor!!! I could go 7 days a week to the chiropractor, and I wouldn't feel stupid! But I can't call T and ask if he's available for one session? After discussing multiple sessions per week with him?

You don't even know how much I hate reaching out to my T. I can't even explain how much I hate calling him. I hate it because it says: I'm needy, and can't make it through the week without you.

All I know is that if I do call him, and I get a session, I'm going to it with a paper bag over my head.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS, I'M CALLING HIM NOW.

Another brilliant idea... I'll speak with the receptionist 1st, to find out if he's even there today. That way if she says he's not, I'm not even going to bother leaving a message, to save myself the stress and embarassment.

Okay, that backfired. I asked the receptionist if my T is in, and she said, "I have no idea."

Alright. I just called his direct line and left the stupidest message in the history of the world. Now I have to wait for him to call back, and once he does, then I have to ask for a session this week. Is it possible for me to draw this out longer and make it even more tortourous for myself?



ETA: I'm just about to leave for lunch, and of course I'm mentally scrutinizing the message I left for T... I realized that I said, "I'm not doing well at all this week." Um, hello it's only Monday. I really hope his voicemail malfunctions and he ends up not getting it at all.