Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterious Flyer
Yep, I'm the same way. I test in the 96th percentile for intelligence, but it's hard for me to succeed in life becuase of my CPTSD. I have been dismissed throughout my life as a person who shouldn't need help because I'm so smart. Stupid people receive help more easily because people perceive them as being "worthy" of help, just based on their stupidity alone. Then I sometimes feel guilty for being like an elitist or something because I'm annoyed by stupid people.
I also get mad because stupid people advance more easily at work, even though they hardly do anything and they can't seem to make sense of the work that we are trying to do.
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Big intelligence is as cumbersome as big hair. Its just hard to be the smartest person in the room. Its lonely.
To make it worse we are a persecuted minority. Muslims and blacks have it haré too, but Ive never seen bumper stickers teasing, "my kid beat up your black Muslim kid".
When we are mentally ill people just dont get that intelligence cranks up the volume on trauma and everything else.
We arent just brainiacs. We are also sensitive, often very moral people. Trauma seems to shred us on Ways it only snags more normal people. We have empathy. Big empathy.
I think Most of us have insecurities from childhoods in which we were always át least a little different and a little misunderstood. We learned not to he too free and easy lest we reveal something to stop conversTion and have others staring with big round eyes and mouths. We grow up knowing we are freaks.
People are wary of is because we could trick them and make copla of them or take advantage of them. Wariness becomes hostility. We also near the brunt of wveryone who was once a tormented kid pressured to read before he was reset or made to feel dumb in achool.
Its hard. Stupidity mucks up the world and we can only watch in horror, so it seems ar times. There is refuge in art and music and literature--usually created by smart people with serious drug habits who died young.