yep. english medical system really really bites big time. do see if you can get on the list for the p doc anyway though hon. even if it is two years wait and even if the person you get at the end is crap it will give you something to focus on, like a potential safety blanket coming your way. keep having faith in the possibility of healing is i guess what im trying to say. and in the meantime during the wait do everything you can for yourself, get yourself talking to someone - the nurse, your doctor, a religious person, the samaritans, anyone who will listen with a kind ear! and keep coming here.
from the little i know you i know you have the strength and dedication to beat this for yourself because you deserve peace. you deserve a better quality of life than this.
whenever im really struggling (usually with exams cos she doesnt know about my mental health issues but the same idea applies!) she always says dont go down without a fight. like when we feel hopeless and we re drowning and KNOW we cant make it any further then at least we can get a good last kicking struggle as we go out. just the thought of that can sometimes be enough to make me fight past the moment.
and you have so many people here at PC standing behind you holding you up.
((((((((((((((jinny)))))))))))))))))))