Thanks for the responses. The phone sessions did not start because of my cancelling. I didn't mean to say that. They continue to be used as a means of keeping regular contact when I cancel, which has been frequent for various reasons.

We hadn't seen each other in February due to the winter storms and when I showed up in March drastically thinner she was really shocked, so much so that she told me she wanted to have sessions twice a week, one in person and one by phone, as I live pretty far away from her. We have maintained the phone sessions religiously every Monday, except for the one time when she had an issue at home and never called at all. She apologized the next day, however.

The guitar example was good. Of course I totally get my part in this but what I'm asking about is her role as the therapist. Should a T continue phone therapy without taking my file home? If phone therapy leads to superficial conversation should a T explain it's not going to work if I don't come in person? I'm just trying to understand if the passiveness is part of the plan or is it a sign that maybe I should go elsewhere.

Six weeks ago I sent a long email asking her to explain what was going on. How does therapy work? I just read that email again to refresh my memory and it was very long (I forgot how detailed) and I said things including, sometimes our meetings feel all over the place, why the sudden different diagnoses, are there specific plans you have in mind, can you really help me just talking about superficial issues, do you have a plan, is there a plan to talk about the thing that brought me here, do you use the same approach with everyone, and on and on and on.

She did respond, as she always does - very good about that, but nothing has changed. I'm still sitting here wondering if I will ever do more than record my moods. I would really love an opinion based on reading the email but won't post it here. If you would like to help me PM me and I will send it (no names of course).

One thing I noticed right away is disorganization. It didn't seem a big deal at first but as time goes on I see how it is affecting many things in therapy. Do all good therapists have to be organized? This involves never receiving paperwork from the onset, insurance/billing issues for bills not sent to my insurance company, forgetting a phone session, not remembering things, etc.

Someone responded about us both needing structure. I agree 100%. But where is the line drawn? How do I know if I should move on or whether it's just something I'll have to work with because she is a kind, caring person? From the research I did yesterday, I see that it's hard to find someone you can feel comfortable with. That's not the case here, but some of things going on are listed on the 'warning signs of bad therapy.' I know her heart is in the right place. So if these are bad signs it's not happening on purpose. I believe she really cares and wants to help everyone she can.

As I said before, I don't know enough about therapy to know how long to go on like this, but I did ask her if we could talk tonight and she agreed.

Thanks for the responses. I found them all helpful.