Ok so not the romantic love thing... but the whole therapy process thing...

I have now been with this T five years. He helped save my life. He has helped me move through a lot of bad things. I am thankful for all that.

I went to a session yesterday and it was tough. But I had an emergancy session today because a coworker died sudenly this morning.
My T was always doing the pushing me away then getting me to trust him again thing... I hate that but understand some of the reasons why. But over the past few months I have experienced just the pushing away. It hurt a lot at first... but today something inside finally switched off.

I tend to do that in relationships anyway ... pull away if I get too close to someone. But I needed this relationship to not break inside me.
It feels like it did and I do not know why. Maybe he wanted that to happen for some reason. Maybe I am just too broken to have a relationship with another human that will break this way. IDK...