it really isn't your job to convince your T that she is crossing boundaries. your job is to take care of yourself. personally, i'd get a new T immediately since you confronted her the other day and she came up with all sorts of excuses for her behavior. as for how to know if what she is doing is wrong i'd say trust your gut. you aren't comfortable with her behavior and it goes against recommended therapeutic guidelines. she probably won't admit to doing anything wrong because she fears she might lose you as a client or worse fears you will report her. be careful about staying in a bad T situation. unless she can see what she is doing isn't beneficial for you, and so far she isn't, she isn't going to change her behavior. that means the boundary crossing will continue. that is why i recommend finding a more professional & ethical T. i know it's hard though. i am not suggesting this is easy to do.