Maybe if it makes you feel worse just don't go into detail. Try to separate yourself from it as much as possible.
The warm fuzzies are so hard to come by, and unique to everyone. For me, I curl up in bed with a stuffed penguin. Yes, I'm nearly 24 but it helps me stay safe.
I know so well how part of you wants to cut and wants the pain and the other half doesn't. I have spent a long time battling with myself over these urges.
Hang in there