Well what you said makes sense but it still doesn't explain why I'd self harm over it. When I have too much on my plate my symptoms break right thru. I've been on lamictal for 10 years abd I don't feel like it's doing its job. I was depressed after surgery too. My anti anxiety med neurontin doesn't do Jack for me. I shouldn't be popping a xanex everyday to ease my anxiety either. My teenage daughter and I really got into it today and I harmfully raged at her. I mean real rage where I scared the living **** out of her. She hid out in the bathroom till I unlocked it. All these events shouldn't distregulate me so much. I should be able to handle things much more calmly. I really am in the pity pot of hating myself right now. Feels horrible.

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