The strange thing is, he's in love with me too. It's a situation I've always dreamed about, never knew it could be reality.

After finally (9 years) realized that my best friend loved me, I've started to recognize the love I've felt for him too. I undoubtedly love him, I can't help
myself, but here's where it gets weird.

I know it sounds weird, but I'm going to marry this guy sometime. It's an absolute truth, I AM GOING TO MARRY HIM. I've known it since I first met him, when I was twelve, and I still know it now.

But I'm not ready for a long-term relationship. I just want to explore. I know it sounds horrible, but I want to know men other than him.

I love him so much, so much that I cry about it sometimes, but I'm not ready for a long-term relationship. I just want to experience adult-hood like a regular person does, even if I know he's my SOUL MATE. I didn't generally believe in such things, until I realized it was him...

Help?