Dear T,

I'm nervous to talk to you....if I was honest, I'd tell you how appreciative I feel of you but then that would be analyzed and I'm scared of what that means. Like I'm wrong for feeling gratitude. You said you want to hear all of what I experience and you basically pleaded for me to be open about it. I guess I am just scared to trust that...like maybe you said that, but once I tell you, you will shy away from it or totally blow it out of proportion. I suck at being clear and able to communicate well so you would run circles around me. I feel at such a disadvantage here.

I have to trust you though or what's the point of seeing you anymore? I do mostly trust you (or I wouldn't be so consistent for so long) but mostly isn't cutting it. It's still holding me back. You say we work through it by talking about it. Sooooo talk talk talk....it feels so revolving door. I don't want to bore you, and I don't want to make you mad.

But I will either try or quit. I can't stand this anymore!