I find that when a therapist makes statements that either are or sound judgemental, they hit right at the core of the client. My very first session with T was straightforward with lots of questions about family, friends, relationships, sexual experiences, etc. It was hard to say to her at the time that I had homosexual relations with my best friend when I was younger, and that it was essentially a one-way giving relationship...I gave him pleasure when I wanted and he never reciprocated. That was the relationship and I liked it that way. Now at the start of the second session, T asked me to talk more about this event but referred to it as "the gay trauma" i went through.

That one went right to the heart and REALLY hurt.