There are two lights in my life. One is my 1 year old son. And the other is my wonderful boyfriend. Sometimes I wonder if I'm taking too much for granted, that its all going to be stripped away from me any minute. That I'm fighting to keep the good and losing But this love that I am feeling, only seems to be coming from within me. I can't get the feeling out, like there's something so big in my chest that it would explode if anything else was put into it. Is this love that I'm feeling? I don't know what it is, but each time I say it, my heart swells then breaks for happiness then fear. Fear of loss. He says he loves me back, but I'm scared for what is the inevitable. I'm not ready to face this demon, but it keeps rearing its ugly head in my direction, no matter how hard I try to hide from it. Maybe the gods will bless me with a happy marriage, but there's that 1% chance the gods will smite me instead. maybe I should just stick to simplicity.