ugh!

Well I just realized that I am depressed and have started taking paxil as after a few sessions of marriage counseling. My hubby is still getting on my nerves though my depressive has stopped. He said something today that he must have know would bother me then he got upset because I asked him if he wants a divorce, because by saying things like that he is just making it harder for us to get closer. He stormed out of our house like a child on his way to work. I hate throwing out the D word but I feel like that is the only thing to get him to look at our relationship seriously.

He keeps saying derogoratory things about our counselors, how they aren't helping us and how we can't afford it. He isn't doing what they have asked him to do, he isn't putting forth much effort at all to help our marriage or me with my depression. He acts like me being on drugs is the answer to our problems. Like I am crazy and if these drugs work on me everything will be ok because I am the problem.

I know he is a big part of our problem, but it is hard for me to know how much is me and how much is him. He seems like he is crabby ALL the time. He won't take meds though even if they did say he is depressed because he is a police officer and that would not look good for him. I want to get things to be better but I big part of me really does just want to get divorced, because I am sick and tired.