Whenever someone with BPD starts to talk about how they don't know who they are, they're terrified of being alone etc I get so incredibly triggered. I'll just start to cry and feel a huge urge to cut, get drunk/high and start threatening people with suicide again so that someone HAS to care. WHY did I watch a documentary about BPD?! Dumbest thing I've ever done... am I TRYING to trigger myself because I've been feeling at ease for a while now? I want to ****ing die but I also want someone to hold me but if anyone'd try to touch me right now I'd probably just push them away and yell at them. Because I don't deserve love. Someday everyone who loves me will realize this, if they haven't already. What if they've decided to leave already? Why am I doing this right now? Why can't I just get over myself? Omg I'm so off topic now... uhm... does anyone else get ****ing triggered by hearing other borderlines talking about BPD?

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