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Old May 01, 2014, 06:02 PM
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trying2survive trying2survive is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: northeast ohio
Posts: 1,085
Quote:
Originally Posted by isntlifewonderful View Post
Whenever someone with BPD starts to talk about how they don't know who they are, they're terrified of being alone etc I get so incredibly triggered. I'll just start to cry and feel a huge urge to cut, get drunk/high and start threatening people with suicide again so that someone HAS to care. WHY did I watch a documentary about BPD?! Dumbest thing I've ever done... am I TRYING to trigger myself because I've been feeling at ease for a while now? I want to ****ing die but I also want someone to hold me but if anyone'd try to touch me right now I'd probably just push them away and yell at them. Because I don't deserve love. Someday everyone who loves me will realize this, if they haven't already. What if they've decided to leave already? Why am I doing this right now? Why can't I just get over myself? Omg I'm so off topic now... uhm... does anyone else get ****ing triggered by hearing other borderlines talking about BPD?

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first of all let me say it's good to hear from you, haven't heard from you in a while. sorry to hear you are so upset though so to answer your question, i don't get triggered at all actually quite the opposite..i have to
talk to my fellow borderlines cause "normal" people suck and can't understand us! and if i don't talk to people that get it and hear there stories and tell mine i just sit here in a pool of self sorrow brooding over one of the past relationships that went south. by talking about it i feel better, the more i talk about it the better i feel. i don't know if i'm stable enough to watch a documentary on BPD ( i doubt i could handle that!) but i'm quite at home here on the forum with all you wonderful people that i love so much

you did it because that's what we always do!!!! things are going good so we expect the bottom to fall out & because we expect that it always does!
we gotta "f" it up, wish we didn't but do ( i gotta work on that!) i'll send you a hug! ok make it 2!! hang in there, these episodes suck don't they!
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!