Hello all,
I'm a not so typical 16 year old girl. I've been battling with depression my whole life. Soo I guess I should make a basic outline of my history to help everyone out.
Ages 3-8
Everyday for five years I was raped, molested, and mentally destroyed. My father paid his brother to do so, and my uncles wife would "supervise". He would "play horsey" with my to make me happy and then make my "sit on his lap". He would take the back roads home and make my lay across his lap. He would take me to my grandfathers grave (who I was very close with) on Sundays after church and do things right on it, as if to spit in his face. He would come in at night and I would pretend I was sleeping to make myself believe it was just a dream. He would take me to the basement and would have me lay on a type of table.
He did a multitude of things.... I apologize if I stepped over boundaries by listing those things...ever sense then I refuse to look in mirrors because his face is looking back at me...
During the same time period my father was kidnapped my brothers (their mom and my father were divorced and she has full custody) made them have sex together, made them touch him, and make videos. He also raped other women and their children. Put cameras in women's bathrooms, toilets, rooms and closets (he was an electrician). He had 4 computers full of kiddy porn including videos and pictures (that he made himself) that he shared all over the internet, and... He was a meth addict. I have very few memories of him and the biggest one is him slapping me across the face with a belt and making me eat everything off the floor.
2 years ago my step fathers best friend kissed me and attempted to kidnap me and do far worse
1 year ago a boy at school was forceful and tried to make me have sex with him in a classroom (after school)
Almost 3 years ago my uncle (who was everything to me) passed away in a terrible way..
And my grandfather who is also a huge part of my life, is also dying

I've been diagnosed with PTSD and severe Depression...
I struggle with SI... But I haven't for a good few months with the help of my boyfriend

Oooh boy.. That was terribly long.. Well like I said that's the basics. I just hit the surface with that and I hope it'll help people get a connection to me.

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