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Old May 01, 2014, 10:56 PM
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feralkittymom feralkittymom is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: yada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michanne View Post
One thing I have learned over the past year is economic/education status is something we all feel shame about. Every one of us. The guy with the doctorate compares himself to his colleagues that went to "better" schools. The woman at Princeton is ashamed she didn't get a higher gpa or have better connections or didn't have the same family support that the guy who went to state school and lived at home. It isn't your status it is who you are comparing yourself to. They feel exactly the same as you. So if you are comparing yourself to your T, she is comparing herself to someone else. That means she can relate and understand. Hope that helps.

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While this can certainly be true for some, it is not, in my experience, true for all. When I'm in the States, I live in a University town where a large proportion have advanced degrees. There is definitely competition, especially in grad school, but I never felt this sort of shame, nor do I know anyone who has. Comparing oneself to others isn't necessarily a default experience. Nor does having an advanced degree mean one cannot relate to those who don't. My T and I had equal level degrees, and I found him to be extremely secure in his expertise, but also very down to earth. His ability to relate to others came from his sense of security in himself, rather than from a shared experience of being caught up in a cycle of comparison. It's an issue of self-esteem, rather than a fact of life.
Thanks for this!
PeeJay, Perna