Funny you should mention it...

I never felt this was an issue for me until this week. I don't generally feel intimidated by T's knowledge or education. I (probably) have more post-secondary education than she does. I don't think of myself as having a lot of intense class issues or a sense of shame or inferiority around my socioeconomic background. But. This week T mentioned that she was going to be working one day less per week (2 days instead of 3) and that she'd be having extra time for herself.

My reaction was really intense and caught me off guard. I got all triggered and felt abandoned even though I currently only see her once a week and that won't change. What really surprised me was my feeling that she was incredibly spoiled. I have no idea what she does in her non-work hours and she may be carrying a very heavy load with respect to family responsibilities, personal illness or something else. My gut says that isn't the case--but what do I know? She is at least ten years from (what I consider to be) retirement age and only started practice as a T about 7 years ago. It is fairly obvious to me that this job is not a major source of income for her family and I don't think she "has to" work. (But nevertheless, T has always been very sensitive about my financial problems, has had lots of empathy about feeling stretched thin and overworked etc)

So basically it triggered a shitload of judgment from me (which I refrained from expressing aloud... my fear of abandonment was more than adequate fodder for the session). I like my work and am privileged in many ways. I am pretty much the sole breadwinner for my family and experience that as very stressful. I can't imagine a situation where work is optional for me and any revenue that I generate is a bonus. I also come from a family where hard work is practically a religion and people do not start to retire until their late sixties or seventies.

So I feel a kind of self-righteous anger about the whole thing. Like seriously, you're abandoning me to play more golf or something? After a mere 7 years in practice you can no longer bear a three day work week? Have you never thought you might be going a little overboard on the self-care?

(Don't worry I fully get the extent to which my feelings about this are irrelevant, I know I shouldn't make assumptions, she doesn't have to justify her personal decisions to anyone--much less me, her life doesn't revolve around my needs etc.)