Okay so I said nothing the first hour I was in group therapy. It was mostly a conversation going over some of the history of the other members and I didn't have anything to add.

But then I found that I didn't want to say anything anyway, and I was annoyed when -- toward the very end -- I was asked if there was something I wanted to share. I said I didn't really want to participate. I don't even think I tried to sound nice, I was just hostile. What is wrong with me?!

I think I wanted to participate, but it was the end of the day and my head was all filled with work and I'd forgotten the things I wanted to mention and it was just too annoying. Bad timing. Wish I could create the mood I want to be in.

Of course now it'd be easy to talk. I'd go in and talk about how I was feeling hostile. But by next week I'll be in the wrong mood and the things I want to say right now will be driven out of my head.

Ugh ugh ugh.

I'm just venting -- I've had a couple of sessions where I felt good about my participation. But tonight I was just rude at the end. I don't even know why.



Sidony