I an 18 year old boy. Almost my whole life so far ive felt this hanging lonliness like i was never meant to connect with people. Im very anti-social atleast sometimes i become that wa. Im akward and sometimes i really want to talk to people and i just cant do it. I can talk yo mywelf and i do. But its more than just me i van talk to different parts of myself. And they vome out like a person changing my thoughta my actions even my voive it scares me sometimes. Sometimes i can convince myself im just being paranoid and go back to normal for a little whike then it come back again. Same with my eye twitch. I van usually find myself and come out when i need it but there have been.times ive lost myself for a quite sometime in this mess of a mind i have. I always seem to picture tradgic, detailed and gorey visions of people aaround me as well as myself. Most of the time its those close to me such as family or friends. I always seem to lose friends i wasnt used to be able to make friends wen iwas young at all i couldnt speak to anyone. From the outside it appears many people see me as a normal person. I do not fear death i do not wish to die but often times i catch myself thinking i except my fate as if i were going to die that day. i say my silent goodbyes . Argue with myself from multiple points of views. And have troube sleeping