I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I'm glad you are trying tot ake care and be kind with yourself.

I have heard that it is very useful to find an outlet for your anger that is healthy, because anger has a tendency to build and build slowly like a pot of water.....and if you don't lift the lid a little or allow some of the steam to get out...you boil over.

I've heard of people grabbing a pillow and screaming into it, or punching it...whatever it takes to get that release away from others. And I also do believe it is then important to calm down and all the ways you describe sound perfect for in the moment.

Be kind to yourself also, it is exhausting being angry, and then feeling guilty afterwards.....so hard on the body and the mind. Kind to you.