I'm sorry you are going through this -- it sounds really painful. As awful as it is, it actually sounds like you really are making some moves that are going to improve your life. You had a major setback when you tried to quit weed, but in the long run, that could make a huge difference in improving your quality of life, once you get over the rotten part.

I'm sorry if I sound like your other friends who are saying 'at least you've kicked the habit.' It's true, though, that when you kick a habit or make a huge lifestyle change, things can really turn to crap for a while -- but when you come out the other end and look back, you'll be happy you had the strength to push forward. It's a pretty huge thing to accomplish, especially starting off on your own like that.

Good luck with your appointment.