Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom
While this can certainly be true for some, it is not, in my experience, true for all. When I'm in the States, I live in a University town where a large proportion have advanced degrees. There is definitely competition, especially in grad school, but I never felt this sort of shame, nor do I know anyone who has. Comparing oneself to others isn't necessarily a default experience. Nor does having an advanced degree mean one cannot relate to those who don't. My T and I had equal level degrees, and I found him to be extremely secure in his expertise, but also very down to earth. His ability to relate to others came from his sense of security in himself, rather than from a shared experience of being caught up in a cycle of comparison. It's an issue of self-esteem, rather than a fact of life.
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School isn't a requirement. It could be health or parenting (big among women) or money or job or talent or anything at all. I could care less about school. Money, yes if they are in the same bracket and are more successful at managing it but not people in a higher tax bracket. That could be more about health actually or both. I get triggered by people showing their art work because I hold myself back. That would be career. If you live your life without any of that kind of shame at all congratulations.
Most people do. One of the characteristics is to hide shame so all those people could experience it at some level and you would never know. Perhaps you intimidate them. Actually I could be in the same room because you are apparently living in the states part time.
Shame is a core emotion that we all share. It isn't a disease. It drives us to seek connection through empathy. Self esteem issues develop because of excessive shame among other things. We all deal with self esteem issues to some degree because we all deal with shame. It is not the same as guilt which drives us to change.
The US culture is about scarcity as in the desire to avoid it. If you live in an are where that is not like that do tell. I have spent short amounts of time in other countries where the US influence is not so prevalent but you have to leave the city. I guarantee you there are other things those people compare.
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