Quote:
Originally Posted by lido78
After a 3.5 year relationship (and a friendship for about a year before we started dating), my ex-boyfriend broke up with me while he was overseas vising family by sending me a Facebook message. I was at work and not expecting the message. In fact, I'd taken him to the airport when he left, and was planning to pick him up when he returned from his trip.
For several weeks after the message, he refused to return any phone calls or e-mails. Basically, a four relationship ended with a single paragraph e-mail.
I tried to take the high ground once we actually spoke about two months later and eventually got over the end of the relationship thinking we'd one day be able to be friends.
However, I have not been able to get over the way that he broke up with me since he refused to ever meet with me face to face. It's as if he completely ignored all the time we spent together, including plenty of good times.
This this past weekend, after not seeing him for six months, I finally got angry. I had been drinking wine with a neighbor and was definitely intoxicated. I went to his house (took taxi) and confronted him. Although I'd taken the high ground since the break up, I definitely behaved badly during this conversation. After the confrontation, I don't believe that a friendship would ever be possible. I'm okay with this...I don't think I could ever be friends with someone who treated me the way that he did. But, I feel as if I lowered myself to his level by my own behavior.
If I had acted the way I did with family or a close friend, I'd definitely apologize. But, given the lack of real consideration he's given me, I don't think he deserves an apology...BUT, I wonder if apologizing is just something a decent person does...I don't want to interact with him at all, but I was always taught to take responsibility for my actions...even if the other person is also to blame. I feel guilty for my behavior although all of my friends have wondered why it took me so long to express my anger.
Is lashing out this way every acceptable or should an apology be given?
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i do think it is strange that he would break up with you with a single paragraph e mail. there must have really been something going on/ deep rooted problem in your relationship..it's not normal for someone to abruptly end a relationship in this fashion. i believe there were some on going un addressed problems and maybe he had enough
then to refuse to return phone calls and you guys have known each other for over 4 yrs, i must say this is quite bizarre. did you guys argue a lot? i suspect there is more going on here than meets the eye.
the fact that it took 2 months to finally speak makes me wonder why you would continue to want to be friends with someone who treated you this way?
it wasn't a good idea to show up at this man's place of residence drunk and angry and you are very fortunate he didn't call the cops, thank goodness he didn't or it would have been a whole new ballgame.
i think it's best to leave him alone before this guy gets the impression you are stalking him, the fact that you accept you were inappropriate in your behavior
is apology enough, you have no need to speak to him or see him again..all that will do is stir up old wounds and slow your healing process
as a responsible adult, lashing out in this way is not acceptable, in the real world as a person with emotions and feelings it happens! sometimes our emotions get the best of us and when you add alcohol all you need is popcorn cause you're gonna get a show!
i hope this helps, my advice is to chalk it up to experience. no good can come out of interacting with him again.
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
