Thanks Verity81 I've had a couple of nightmares recently (I don't normally have nightmares) and very uncomfortable physical responses - headaches, queasy stomach, muscle pain - and the body doesn't lie, so I'm trying to accept that the abuse did happen. Self soothing and distraction is exactly what I've been trying to do. 12 more days until I see my T. I have to take this a day at a time I guess.