I've had two major psychotic episodes. In the first one I believed that another being was implanting thoughts in my head telling me to kill myself. I followed the thoughts because even though they weren't my own I felt I had to.

This time around it started with thinking my brain was trying to hurt me and get me to kill myself. I thought my husband was controlling me with medication. I eventually thought that it was an outside source trying to kill me or get me to kill myself, and I became terrified of strangers. Then I felt that everyone could hear my thoughts and knew what terrible things I was thinking. It ended with me accusing the ER doctors of calling social services to take my son away that night. Then I spent two days in the hospital scared shitless until the geodon started calming me down. Got out on Wednesday.

I'm still manic but at least my thousands of thoughts are normal just the speed is wrong lol.