Dear JaneC and Open Eyes: Thank you for your thoughtful responses. Finding an outlet is something I am thinking on right now - I can see now how trying to reason through the anger may not be the best way to interrupt it. It makes sense that I am having trouble "switching" over into logic when I'm angry - the more effective response may be doing a physical activity, and bring the rage down to a degree that I can think more clearly...

I have an appt w/my therapist next week - I will think about what it is that builds up, tipping me into reacting. I'm sitting down now and trying to see if I can work this out. Open Eyes, it makes sense that the anger isn't from what happened in the present - there's too much heat for just a trivial disagreement - so it has to be fueled from something in the past.

I'm sorry this is something we struggle with, but am grateful for your sharing some skills I hadn't thought of.

Thank you both for really helpful suggestions and input!