So when I hear the word vulnerability what I think about is being emotionally open, or sharing one's emotions. But my therapist says that I have vulnerability problems. She says that I give off the impression that I'm not likely to be vulnerable with another person, so this causes people not to be interested in relationships with me. But I really don't have a big problem sharing my emotions, I find them easy to talk about, and I don't think that I typically share them "inappropriately" (i.e. with people I barely know, or in group situations).

However when I do share my emotions I'm always careful to take care of them all by myself. In therapy for instance I tend to do a lot of the analysis on my own (probably particularly because I've been to lots of therapy, and have a very analytic mind). So I kind of end up putting a bow on everything that I've just shared before my T can even touch it. Same goes for when I share things with friends. I often share things if I've had a similar experience because I want the other person to know that they are not alone. But I don't ever want them to feel like they have to take care of me because I think that if they do that then I will be taking away from their experience.

I also feel suspicious that other people don't really want vulnerability or emotional honesty. Sometimes when I'm open with friends, or, in the past, my parents, I find that people just say nothing about what I have just told them, or change the subject as if they never heard what I said in the first place. When this happens I feel completely abandoned, and feel like it is all my fault for making the other person uncomfortable. And I usually feel really embarrassed.

So what exactly do you think vulnerability is, and do you think people really want to have vulnerability in relationships?