(((Jane))),

Please don't apologize, you have the right to write out as much as you need to. Much of what you said was what I was thinking actually. I didn't deal with a husband who had cancer, but I dealt with a husband who was an alcoholic and I was alone a lot too. I did the same thing as you, I found ways to lock my pain in different rooms and shut the door and kept moving forward. My T asked me just about the same question your T asked you, my T didn't know how I managed to keep moving forward with all that I dealt with.

Jane, when you talk about the doors opening up OMG, that is exactly what I have said myself.

I had loneliness when my daughter was little too, my husband was still an active alcoholic, then when my daughter was six, I just could not take it anymore and I put my foot down. That didn't stop the challenge, it just switched it over from first the drinking/drugging and then it was all about him staying sober and his meetings. I was very lonely "a lot". My H had his drinking buddies, then his AA buddies, but I was out in left field somewhere trying to raise our daughter and be a good mommy.

I am sorry (((Jane))), I am so sorry you didn't have the support you needed. I "do" understand the "doors" too, me too. Just take it slowly Jane, and sometimes yes, the emotions can be overwhelming. You are not alone with that, it does get harder for a while, but after a while it begins to feel like you have taken a big load off too. There is definitely anger hiding in there too, so it's ok to let that out, even if you need to vent it out here ok? You can even PM me if you need to let it out but not so out in the open ok?

One day at a time ((((Jane)))), you have support here, you really do when you need to have others who understand the challenge.

Oh yeah, and my husbands family was more about him than me too.

(((Caring Hugs)))
OE