Hi, banni44, and welcome to Psych Central! I am thinking the best thing to do is to talk to a therapist about this situation. Perhaps the two of you can get at the root of your anger and decide whether somehow it's associated with being selfish. Perhaps you also can think about going back on a med for ADHD. It is evidently a life-long condition, and perhaps aggravated by stress.
You might also consider reading and posting in the Coping with Emotions forum. Here is the link:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/coping-emotions/.
I hope you will feel more relaxed soon.