so there is this guy that i met through one of my husband's friends. i don't know what it is about him, but i feel drawn to him. i hate it.

i am trying to keep myself at a distance but before i started feeling drawn to him, i managed to get him a job where i work, and now we close together practically every night we work.

so it's not really like i can completely avoid him. i don't want to avoid him, though. i just don't want to feel like i do toward him.

i have talked to my husband about this. i explained how i felt about the other guy. my husband was fine at first, but then i told him the whole thing, and he got upset and claimed i was in love with the guy, which i'm not. the way he makes me feel, i'm sick to my stomach, twisted in knots, constantly thinking about him, can't listen to music because i think of him, can't close my eyes because i see his face, hear his name...

i can't stand it. i just want to be friends with the guy. my husband's other friend (who also works with me) is my friend as well, and there's nothing but friendship there. i don't understand why i feel this way.

and i keep telling myself, this guy is just a kid, he'll be 19 in August, he's five years younger than me, and he's not interested in me at all, so these feelings are completely unwarranted. i don't know why i feel this way and i hate it.

i know the best thing is to avoid him. not look at him, not talk to him. i'm sure he wouldn't miss me; he's a selfish person and i'm definitely not his type physically so i'm pretty sure he won't bother with me if i don't bother with him.

but then when i do ignore him at work, he comes to me and asks me if i'm okay a bunch and then he's always with our mutual friend when i just want to hang out with the mutual friend...and then he sees my family at walmart and runs up to my son, grabs him and tickles him (he really loves my kids), and my heart drops and i don't know what to say or do because everything sounds terrible...

i can't talk to him about it, either, because he's the type that wouldn't let it die off, he'd take the information and use it against me somehow...

like i said, i don't know why i like this kid. but i do, and i want to be closer to him (only in a friendship way) but i don't know how and i just...

i'm so confused...

ps: my husband and i aren't having any issues within our relationship because of this. he understands how much i dislike these feelings and he knows that they don't take away from how i feel about him. but i don't know how to make them go away without destroying what could be a friendship, and for me friendships are very hard to come by...