Thank you for posting this. During the past 4 years, many family friends have died (you know how these things seem to go in waves?), but two were really important people to me. The first was my mum's best friend's mum. She was like a grandmother to me and I loved her so much. She died while my mum and I were overseas, so I found out by email (which my mum read and basically said, 'oh by the way, Merle's died'). So i missed the funeral, and I think because of this, I never really felt that I got to say good bye. For a while after that, I had many dreams with her in it, they'd always be where I was walking down the street, or sitting in a cafe, and I would see her going by or sitting somewhere, and I kept thinking there was some sort of conspiracy going on where she wasn't really dead. Then in one dream, I dreamnt that I went to a party where everyone I knew was invited, and I saw Merle there. And I barged up to her and said, 'You're supposed to be dead!' And then they had to sit me down and explain that she had actually been very sick, and they told me she had died to spare me the heartache. Anyway, since then I confronted my mum's friend and told her how badly it had effected me, and we had a cry, and she told me that she still hasn't done anything with the ashes, but when she does, she will involve me.
The second person to die that I was close to was my godmother who comitted suicide 3 years ago. That really knocked me off my feet. I feel glad that before she died, she was staying at my parents place for a while, and I told her then that I loved her (which was weird because I don't think I had ever told her before). But again, I have had quite a few dreams with her in it. The two I can remember was one where we were walking along a beach and talking about things (can't remember what), and the other was last night's dream which I posted, where i was on a train, and when i got to the station she was waiting for me and gave me a huge hug and I just cried.....i miss them both.