Well, much of what you've written doesn't really make sense to me, I assume because of auto-correct on Tapatalk. I am American and work overseas, so am intimately familiar with American culture. I just think we fundamentally disagree. I don't necessarily see comparison as connected to shame. I think the shame you're talking about is your projection of your experience. I have very close relationships with my friends, our lives are very intertwined, so I do not believe they hold different views from those they express through their words and actions over time. To compare, I think, is natural; to feel shame from such comparison, I do not think is natural. And I believe that the ability to empathize comes from security and self-acceptance, rather than from shame.