It's nice to know I'm not the only one this happens to and like jena said, it's at a point where I don't know how to not hide it. It's only when I'm alone where I can let it all out.

I wish I didn't do this though. I feel like I'm being a bad patient by not expressing myself properly because it leads to therapy not being very productive... Gahh! Whenever I try I just "choke" and my mind just feels like tv static. And then ofc, afterwards I'm thinking about all the things I wish I could have said -_-