All the time. It's been ingrained in me that if people see the real disaster that is simmering inside of you, they will say things to you like-

I'm afraid you're going to have a bipolar meltdown.

I'm going to report her, I really am. And you don't want anyone to see your weakness. Any weakness. So deflect it with humor. (I know I'm changing tenses, sorry) But a doctor said that to me! A freaking doctor.

I'd be blind not to recognize how bright and eloquent and sensitive the people are in here. So most of the time you are sitting across from someone that you are just as smart as, or smarter than, as they judge you. Why try to tell them the truth?

I only have one I can be honest with, but I know I can cry and scream ad curse and rage and she is always calm and caring and stays with me every step of the way.

I think I need to call the crisis line. I started hallucinating again today.