Lostone, I'd do exactly as he suggested and start looking to my own life. Look into some other interests; a better job, school, a group/hobby away from gambling, etc.

I think the 8 years without anything to "show" for it is a bit long. I don't just mean marriage or anything "formal" like that but something would have developed; you'd be working together on a life/project? I lived with my husband 5 years while he was going through his divorce and getting his act together (I'd never been married) but we had marriage in the back of our minds and a life together "permanently." It's been 18 years we have been married (seems like maybe 2 :-) and now we're retired! I can look down the line from here back to 1984 when I met him and see a "logical" progression where we've been in tandem together.

But during that time I've always been working on my own life, myself and therapy and my own jobs and interests too. Today I'm going off all day on an adventure of my own :-) for part of a college course (I'm 56 and already have a college degree, this is for a second one I'm just interested in). I have been planning for today for a couple days.

I don't know why you see your guy each day but I would do some exploring away from whereever that is. I'd maybe change my hairstyle, buy a few new clothes, do some volunteering or take a few continuing ed classes at the local college, etc. and see if I couldn't get some other interest and "balance" into my life. That's very attractive I think; someone interested in their own life and looking "balanced"? I imagine he still has his eye on you and if you "get a life" :-) it's possible he'll be inspired by you and do the same and come back or whatever; it's possible too that you'll grow ahead of him and find a new love. I did that; I had a boyfriend of 3-4 years who was 20 years older than I was, had been a Marine pilot in the Korean War (shot down behind enemy lines and full of shrapnel) and who made me go away. It was the best thing that ever happened to me, my being made to go away from that man whom I loved. I found my "true" love at my new job and have been living happily ever after since :-)